#youarenotabadmother if you could not or decided not to breastfeed your baby. The bond with your baby is built every day in many ways.
Breastfeeding difficulties require expert support that is respectful of mothers´ rights. Mothers don´t need pressure, they need to be understood – let´s care for mothers.
Breastfeeding should something to enjoy. However, in a culture that does not support mothers nor celebrate breastfeeding, many women where not breastfed in their own childhood and neither have they had the chance of learning from other women. The pressure women are under to conform to a certain type of body and ideal of beauty, the pressure to perform socially and at work, and past trauma and abuse that many women have suffered, turn breastfeeding into a challenge at best and a hurtful demand at worst. Compounded is the lack of knowledgeable support that many women run into from their health care providers, that does not help to initiate breastfeeding nor to achieve a normal, enjoyable, working biological experience.
Many mothers express their sadness and/or distress at not having breastfed as long as they wanted. Others feel judged and looked down upon for deciding not to breastfeed.
The beginning of breastfeeding can be rough and take its time, specially if there has been a traumatic birth, if mother and infant were separated after birth and/or hospitalized, and if the mother has not seen other women breastfeed. Pain during breastfeeding may lead to depression – and maternal depression can, in turn, make breastfeeding a nightmare.
There are still few health care providers who attend mothers and are trained in perinatal mental health. It is vital that midwives, pediatrician, nurses, obstetricians, IBCLCs, etc be able to detect emotional suffering related to breastfeeding, so they may offer support and working solutions that do not frustrate mothers even further.
When working with a recent mother, it is imperative to respect her infant feeding decisions, listen respectfully and offer practical help. There are multiple mothering and feeding strategies that protect the mother-infant bond, even without breastfeeding.
The vast majority of treatment options for maternal mental health illnesses are compatible with breastfeeding and pose no threat to the baby. On the contrary, abrupt weaning as well as pain during breastfeeding may worsen mother´s emotional state.
#youarenotabadmother if you could not or decided not to breastfeed your baby. The bond with your baby is built every day in many ways.
Original illustration by @kentackettart
Other interesting reads:
When postpartum depression lurks behind breastfeeding difficulties
Anti-stress effects in Breastfeeding Mothers: the soothing effect of oxytocin